YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
