redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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