I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Randomize
