Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize