I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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