If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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