weddingsv make me drug and hornr
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
