Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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