Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize