perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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