do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
