Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize