i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
