it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
