Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
