You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
