Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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