She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
