wat bout pragnant strippers??
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
