I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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