he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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