Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
