We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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