It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
