You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
