he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
