You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
