Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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