Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
