If i could tip my vagina, i would.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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