I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize