he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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