Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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