i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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