Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
