i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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