Have you finally orgasmed yet?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize