I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
