Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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