thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
