that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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