Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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