Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
