yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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