I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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