corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
