just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
My dick has a subreddit
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
