Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
