I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
