There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
