Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
