she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
