I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
