Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
