I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
