are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
