Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
