Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
i out mim tonsoeep
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