Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
