My brain says no but my pants say off.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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